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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?